Random writings...

I am nervous... About a number of things, truth be told. First, I only just realised that I have only one more year in which I can call myself a teenager. Of course, part of the reason I realised this so late is my present lethargic lifestyle which does not occupy significant amounts of my mental faculties. But it's like, wow, I've actually been alive that long... And this then leads on to a looking-back over the previous years, and to a resigned verdict that the next few years had better be better than the previous few.

Second, I am searching for alternative ways to conjure up RM 800K without resorting to robbery. I think many people would already have an idea of what I plan to do with this exorbitant sum, just that there's only one problem: I don't have that much money. Apparently if it weren't for Margaret Thatcher, I might be worrying about a far smaller sum. Oh well...

Third, which I've actually mentioned earlier, is my lethargic lifestyle. To be sure, I did get an adrenaline rush yesterday, at my first practical driving lesson. He made me drive 3 minutes after I arrived. And be warned, my coordination and driving skills ain't the best. Not to mention that my parents drive autos. And I was driving a manual car! Ok, I'm sure all my friends from Malaysia will be laughing. But this certainly isn't my forte. I was quaking after 45 minutes in the car and two "engine deaths". And it didn't help that I wasn't the one who chose my instructor. As if that wasn't bad enough, I have another lesson... TOMORROW! YIKES!!! Just thinking about it stimulates my sympathetic nervous system and raises my heart rate... My only consolation is that I'm not in KL.

SPM results

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2007/3/15/focus/17143795&sec=focus

It has been encouraging to find out that two Chinese students, one from Bukit Mertajam and one from Sabah(can't remember which school/town), have obtained 16A1s in SPM. Notably, each of the two girls has at least one parent who is a medical practitioner. And yet, no top scorer has been declared this year. I am bitterly reminded of my own year, in which much hype was raised over a 17A1 achievement that caused me to pack my bag abruptly one day in my JC1 year and rush to KL.

I read in The Star that certain prominent people are now claiming that the number of subjects taken by an SPM student do not matter and that it is pointless to declare a top student because each student has his or her own strengths and weaknesses. I agree on both counts, but why has this view not been consistent over the past years, but instead only surfaced this time? Personally, I am of no doubt that the number of subjects taken is still just a number. However, this number seems to have been taken very seriously with certain groups of people, yet apparently ignored for other groups.

*is asked whether interested in eating, then, suddenly and without negotiation, is relegated to watching the luggage while the adults go and eat*

*internal complaint*"Hey!?! What's the big idea leaving me to guard the luggage while you go and eat??? Well, at least it gives me time to continue this... But train of thought has been interrupted... Oh by the way, I'm in KL sitting in the lobby of Cititel Hotel in MidValley and I'm heading back home tonight after 3 weeks of KL and Singapore alternating.

Ah yes. Anyway, this lack of consistency is annoyingly obvious. And something tells me that if it were not for the need for certain financial aid, some people would be complaining about this. As it is, only one brave soul has dared to do so in an opinion to The Star.

Just thinking about it frustrates me... Gah!

Post-Results #2

A lot, and I mean a lot, of people have been asking me recently about where I will be going next. Overseas? Singapore? I honestly say as of now, I have no idea. Really! Although I daresay I have instilled some interest towards studying in Singapore in quite a few people. Can't be helped, as security is higher in Singapore than in Malaysia and, admittedly, girls can get a little concerned. Also, as I told some people, I concede that Singapore is probably the best at blending excellence and affordability.

However, I am currently pulling some strings which I very much hope will yield some results. Gosh, I never thought I had to resort to it. However, the applications to NUS and IMU will still continue until I hear more on that side of matters. My most grateful thanks to my efficient and helpful tutors for completing my reference letters: Mr Lee, Ms Tan and Mdm Chen. That said, I have yet to pick up the letters.... *snort of amusement*... See you tomorrow!

I am sick of taking the KL-JB and vice versa bus. Tomorrow will be my 4th trip on one of those buses in 2 weeks... which is a lot, considering that I only went home 1.5 times per year(ie 3 plane trips p.a.) on average during my ASEAN years in Singapore. And I think I may be able to walk the ground floor of Mid Valley with my eyes closed... Ok, that was random.

Someone put this at the end of their MSN nick: Hope for the best, but expect the worst. Hey, even by my pessimistic standards, that is morbid. In terms of my uni applications and etc, I am hoping for the best, but certainly not expecting the worst. No Way. Period.

Post-Results...

Sigh... the D-day came.... and went. It was not too good a day for me. However, I didn''t feel too sad... at least not until something happened. That incident made me feel so crushed inside... I felt so worthless and ashamed of myself, thanks to that occurrence. And yet, some of the feelings i felt throughout yesterday were indescribable. Prior to that, I felt ok. Now... I don't know what to think. I barely made the cut for Nottingham... which is what i want, but I know if it was by my own means, i would never be able to afford it. I just hope that JPA will have pity on me...