Work 2

I'm tired... My legs are aching from standing. But I admit that I can derive satisfaction from my job, especially now that my executive says that I need not do the paperwork that is usually required from a promoter. I'm glad. Cos I prefer serving customers and helping them find what they want., as well as straightening and arranging the stock display in ways and styles that will attract the attention of customers. It's what I'm better at.

However, I still do not take kindly to some "perks" that come from being "anak bos" in the company. Just because I happen to be someone's daughter does not mean that I need not be briefed on my responsibilities, or that I need special "care and attention". I was walking by 2 other promoters when one of them said in my full hearing, "Itu anak dia." then started staring. That started my displeasure.

With regards to my previous post, I am blaming my so-called cousin... Actually, by genealogy and the Chinese habit of designating relatives, he has to call me aunt, because I am second cousin to his mother... Ugh.... I swear I will run a mile if he ever dares to even try it, in the company or otherwise. He is my superior at work, after all. I'm careful, though, since he does call my dad Great-Uncle. He has not addressed me even by name or otherwise so far; it's just look, acknowledge, and speak. I hope it stays that way.

And yes, I am irritated by him and his fellow executives. I know that they have been talking about me. I know they have told the staff of my parentage... because I have been talking to the other staff. And I know I caught their eye when I was heading for the staff entrance after lunch break today. First one, then the other turned around to look at me. My relative, who derives 12.5% of his blood from the same source as I draw 25% of my blood from. And his colleague, who looks dumb but is apparently supposed to be a fairly good worker. *grumble to self* - Hey, I'm just going back to work, like every good member of staff is supposed to, what are you looking at? -

I'm no stranger to people's glances and eyes, but this I find irritating. Is it just because I want to be treated equally? Or is it just that I want them to leave me alone, since I know that he (relative) has been paying me special attenion? The latter sounds more likely.

Work!

It's off to work I go... Yeah, and of all things, a sportswear promoter. Let's just say that I applied for shop assistant at Boulevard Hypermarket and Departmental Store, which just happens to also be where my dad works. But my dad helped (or hindered) me by getting me the not-so-physical genre of work which is 2 floors away from the supermarket. Now, I'm in charge of the Revsports counter. The first afternoon of work today saw me folding clothes endlessly and darting here and there trying to find clothes' sizes to satisfy my customers.

Well, the job is going to last 2 weeks... the length of the Gawai celebrations in Sarawak, during which all the Ibans go and get drunk, which leaves the Chinese and the Malays to pick up on the work.... since there aren't many Indians here in Miri. The only thing I find a bit awkward, yet which I am sometimes thankful for is that some people are treating me with special respect and concern due to my father's status in the company, at least at the executive level anyway. Ironically, I work on the same level as a cousin... whom I never ever considered a cousin cos his age is probably around double mine. But I admit that he's been helpful. I was first to report to the company office this morning because he noticed me outside the staff entrance this morning and brought me in. And the executive who interviewed me for work yesterday actually said hi to me today and offered to help me check where I was assigned to and when I could start. The staff in charge of briefing the new temporary staff also addressed me by name... It makes me wonder how far my father's influence extends.

On a lighter note, Nottingham University's Malaysia campus gave me an unconditional offer for Pharmacy. I want to go, but I understand that it will cost a lot.... which is not promising on the parental side of matters, since there's no scholarship to get me through this. I already qualified for a 25% cut of tuition fees. Which still amounts to RM 25000 per annum. As I told someone online, I would rather receive news of whether I got accepted into medicine in Australia while sitting in Nottingham Uni, not while sitting at home.

My Teeth!

I just got back from the dentist... Dr Aziz's clinic, for those from Miri. It's the second time this week I've been in the clinic. Anyway, the point is... I need braces! And today's visit was a preparation for it. I just lost two premolars, the fourth tooth from the centre on each side of my upper jaw. Yeah. And I couldn't talk properly now however much I wanted to, thanks to 2 gauze swabs currently residing the cavities where the teeth used to be.

So actually, now half my face is still numb from the injections. And considering each tooth received between 3 to 8 doses at different entry points, you can imagine... But thank God that the injections really drastically reduced the pain that I was supposed to suffer when she extracted the tooth. Only a bit of pain during injection and when the roots of the teeth are removed. But I could see that it needed quite some force to get the teeth out.... Haha. And... I asked to keep the teeth... Well, it was just because I felt it was a pity removing two permanent teeth.

Officially on Monday at 8 a.m., I will see Dr Aziz to fix on my braces. In case you haven't realised, the extracting of those two teeth mean pulling back my upper jaw. I'm not mentally prepared... But the earlier I do it, the better it is for me.

Resignation...

I only wish it was a job resignation. No, it's the hopeless resignation that comes from, what else? Losing hope. From dead ends and lack of ideas.

I have officially resigned myself to the fact that I will not take up my University of Nottingham medicine place come September 2007. What I am gunning for now is a place in medicine for that ever-popular destination for SouthEast Asians, Australia. My chances aren't brilliant, but it's a second best that makes me both thankful and regretful all at once. Regretful for my A level results, and thankful that my scholarship has not been withdrawn... yet.

For now, I have decided to stop deliberating and finish up the personal statement for my Nottingham Malaysia Pharmacy application. If I get a place, I'll head to Semenyih in September while waiting for all other things to settle. If I end up not getting a place in Australia despite my extremely credible financial backing, I'll stay there till I get another place in Medicine in IMU or something.

I feel like that is the only thing to do given my predicament. I hope I'm making the right decision. After driving uphill today, I dunno if my thinking has gone downhill.